I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
