doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
