the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
