I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
birth control should be required to get into college
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
