So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
