plz talk dirty to me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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