I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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