i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize