Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I had to cum in my sink.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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