And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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