id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
