We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
