I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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