just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
