It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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