I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She told me I should be a condom model.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize