The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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