talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize