Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
