I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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