So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
