I think I am morally bankrupt
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
