i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
