I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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