dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
