He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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