When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
