I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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