some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
