singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
