So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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