I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
