even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
