This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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