But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
