Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
