Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
