It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
