...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
