I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
