I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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