dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
