there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
