fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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