why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize