I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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