I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
