just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
