oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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