i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
