dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
