I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
