Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
