I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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