In the future we'll all be gay
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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