New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
