Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
