Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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