shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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